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Why is sex sometimes so difficult?

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For something that is supposed to be instinctive, sexual activity can certainly pose a whole lot of difficulty and awkwardness!

Part of the problem is that males and females function in entirely different ways because their lives are based on entirely different fundamental processes that were inherited from our ancient ancestors; male survival was always based on destruction, while that of the female was based on nurture. The men went out to hunt and kill, the women nurtured the young - and also the males when they returned to the encampment. It is important to recognise that because the way you do anything is the way you do everything, the male attitude to sex and sexuality was always, and still is, vastly different from that of the female.

We focus on four different types of sexual problem (click on the links to go straight to the relevant page):

  • General problems: General types of difficulty that might be experienced by individuals or couples
  • Male problems: Problems specific to male sexuality, including Erectile Failure and Premature Ejaculation.
  • Female problems: Female-orientated difficulties, including Anorgasmia and Vaginsmus
  • Mechanical problems: By 'mechanical', we mean things mostly associated with anatomy and understanding how the body works.

Inherited sexual selfishness

Even only a couple of thousand years ago, it was just as unlikely that the male would have suggested 'an early night' as it was that he would take any notice of the female's sudden headache - even if she bothered to feign that she had one.

Fortunately, things are different now; we understand the need for equality and fairness and the right of a female to say 'No'. Unfortunately, though, our genes have no such knowledge and for this reason, many males are unable to cope with strong women and many women are unable to shed their inherited suspicions about maleness. This is so often the root of Sexual Stress, which can easily create any of the following symptoms:

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Poor self worth
  • Lack of confidence
  • Social difficulties
  • Insomnia
  • Irritability

All of these symptoms can, of course, have other causes; but when they are related directly to sexual difficulties they can disappear virtually overnight if the problem is of a psychological nature and the right sort of help is available. You can take the first step to finding that help by clicking on those 'problem links' above...